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Spells-R-Us Stories: SRU: Tuck and the Wizard
Posted by: Admin on Wednesday, December 04, 2002 - 12:01 AM Printer Friendly
What if Ellen Hayes's Tuck and Bill Hart's wizard met?
SRU: Tuck and the Wizard

A Fanfic by Erin Halfelven

The skinny boy stepped into the odd little shop a bit hesitantly; the place was strange enough to give anyone pause. Brass bells tinkled melodiously as he let the door close behind him. He looked back, he hadn't seen any bells and still didn't. The presence of the door itself was odd enough; most shops in the mall did not have doors, just an open facade.

The deep but narrow room held shelves and tables, racks and bins; all of them full to overflowing with queer items, most of those nameless and many better left undescribed. "Hello?" the boy called out, shifting his backpack to a better position. The quiet and the vague smell of incense and neglect made him uneasy. He wasn't even completely sure why he had ventured into a store called Spells'R'Us.

A sudden apparition almost sent him running out of the door but the grizzled old man in the dingy bathrobe held up a peaceable hand and smiled. "Hello, Valerie. What could bring you to my shop, today?" he said in a voice that made one think of grandfathers and nursing homes.

Not again, thought Tuck. His attitude changed visibly, his stance shifted; posture, voice and expression altering subtly but completely.

She smiled a little nervously. "Do I know you?" Valerie asked.

"Not exactly," said the wizard, smiling. "But we've sometimes been seen in the same neighborhood."

Valerie shook her head. That explanation made very little sense and she decided that the old man must be getting senile. Or maybe she was the one having memory problems because she definitely did not remember meeting this guy. "Er," she mentioned, "someone told me this was a gift shop?"

"Of sorts," agreed the wizard.

"Well, I'm looking for a gift for a friend..."

"Your boyfriend?" the wizard interrupted.

"Er, yeah? You must be a mindreader."

"I must," the wizard agreed again.

Valerie blinked, the old guy had an odd sense of--timing? But she went on, "I want something kinda..."


"Different," she stated.

"Nothing like that here," said the wizard.

She giggled in startled disbelief, looking around at what must be hundreds if not thousands of unique items. She felt sure the old man amused himself by teasing pretty young girls. Though that last thought almost caused a hiccough in her self confidence as she remembered how she was dressed. "Really? It looks like you have lots of--stuff."

"Stuff we have, but nothing for sale--to you."


The wizard made shooing motions at her. "Run along, Valerie. You really don't want to give Travis anything from this store, you have enough problems."

"You know Travis?" she squeaked.

"Tall boy," the wizard gestured about six feet off the ground, "blond hair, really built? Sexy?"

Valerie squirmed a bit, nodding.

"We might have met, once, around Halloween last year," the wizard said. "Or maybe not. What did he give you for Christmas? A gift certificate, right?"

She had to think then nodded.

"That explains it," said the wizard.

Val felt a bit dizzy. "Explains what?"

"Everything. Nothing."

"Uh, right." She decided that perhaps she should go, this loony had made her decidedly nervous.

"Goodbye, Valerie," said the wizard. "Give my regards to Eugene the next time you see him."

Maybe it was the mad little grin the old man had when he said that, maybe it was just someone using both of those names in the same paragraph. She backed away, then changed her mind and turn and ran for the door.

"Enjoy your gift," called the old man over the sound of the phantom doorbells jangling as she made her escape.

Outside, in the main gallery of the mall, Val looked around for Mike. Spotting her friend buying a cookie from the Mrs. Fields cart, she hurried toward him. "Mike!"

He looked at her with an odd expression on his face. "Huh?"

"That was the oddest shop," she said, "I am so glad to get out of there and back to the normal world."

"What are you talking about?" asked Mike. "The Honeybaked Ham store?"

She almost fell down spinning to look back, then stood there staring with her mouth open.

Mike leaned close and whispered, "And, Tuck, if you don't stop mincing and cooing, I swear I'm gonna smack the shit out of you and throw the body in a dumpster."

"What? But the store that was there..." Tuck pointed, trying not to start gibbering at the strangeness of the encounter while at the same time shifting mental gears.

"You were channeling Valerie, snap out of it," said Mike. "Here come Brian and your folks."

"Mike?" Tuck whimpered. "He knew Valerie?"

Mike scowled, sometimes his friend could be even stranger than--than usual. "He who?"

"Who's on first?" asked Mr. Tucker arriving about that moment.

"I don't know," said Brian and Mrs. Tucker.

"Third base," said all the Tuckers together, including Eugene, then they all laughed.

Whew, thought Mike, back to what passes for normal in this clan.

Tuck is the intellectual property of Ellen Hayes, creator and chronicler. The wizard and Spells'R'Us shop are similarly owned by Bill Hart. Whatever residue is left is the creation of Erin Halfelven. Characters used by permission.

Note: TG SRU Tuck g-rated

SRU: Tuck and the Wizard | Login/Create an account | 6 Comments
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Re: SRU: Tuck and the Wizard (Score: 1)
by Jezzi on Dec 04, 2002 - 10:47 AM
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I must be dense, Erin; I don't get it. 

Tuck didn't act like Tuck, who would have been analyzing the shop from a military standpoint (If o­nly to assure himself of a safe exit), and I can't imagine Valerie "mincing and cooing" unless it were a deliberate act for some reason. 

A year ago Halloween, 2001, Tuck was with Debbie in episode 1 and didn't know Travis and vice-versa.  (Or has it been two years since episode 1?)  Is the idea that Travis somehow wished the whole Tuck universe into existance with the help of the Wizard?  If I'm a year off, is it that Travis wanted Tuick to becomer a biologically real Valerie and what she would get with the gift certificate would accomplish that? 

Tuck/Valerie knew about the store because he said someone told him it was a gift shop.  I ssume it was Travis who told Valerie, so that she could use the gift certificate Travis gave her.  However, You say Tuck, not Valerie, entered the store, and he wasn't sure why he did so.  Val couldn't be intending to use the gift certificate Travis gave her  because she said she wanted to buy Travis something, not buy something for herself.  And why would the Wizard tell her to enjoy her gift?  Since she didn't use the gift certificate, she didn't have a gift yet?

Re: SRU: Tuck and the Wizard (Score: 1)
by Admin on Dec 04, 2002 - 12:18 PM
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Just because I didn't mention Tuck analyzing the shop from a military standpoint doesn't mean she didn't do it. Ellen does not invariably describe such behavior in all cases when Tuck enters a room, even one that may have some potential danger.

I didn't say Tuck was mincing and cooing, Mike did.

Tuck does not take place in present time but is stuck back in time several years. In the current episode of Tuck, it's just after the death of Princess Diana, fall 1997. The Tuck Saga began Halloween of 1996. As to the other questions in this paragraph, I didn't answer those in the story deliberately.

Tuck was told that there was a gift shop, not that the Spells'R'Us shop was a gift shop. Tuck entered a door and was in the SRU shop, this is a well-known attribute of the SRU shop used in many of the stories.

The gift certificate that Travis gave Valerie last Christmas was for books and Val used it long ago. There is nothing that says the Wizard could not enchant a gift certificate that was used in some other shop. There's also nothing in the story that right out says that he did.

The rest of your paragraph seems based on a misapprehension of the facts of the Tuck saga and the wizards capabilities.

The wizard is not specific about what gift he is wishing her joy of.

-- Erin

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Re: SRU: Tuck and the Wizard (Score: 1)
by Jezzi on Dec 06, 2002 - 06:16 AM
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I'm sorry, Erin. I was not trying to be nasty, I really just didn't get it, and I did say that was me, and not a reflection on your story. Thank you for your explanation. There is so much of Tuck that I do find it hard to keep track of everything.
PS - do you like Ellen's Tuck/Seasons blend alternate summer story?

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Re: SRU: Tuck and the Wizard (Score: 1)
by Admin on Dec 06, 2002 - 04:27 PM
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I didn't really think you were trying to be nasty. :) I probably should have put a few smilies in my answers. It's nice to get a comment even if it's a "Huh?" :)

I've read the whole Tuck saga at least three times, some of the episodes a lot more than that. I have not finished reading Tuck Season however, I'm not sure why not, I just lost track of doing it at some point and haven't gotten back to it. I did like the part I had read so far which must have been about half way through.

Thanks again for being one of the most dependable of commenters here on BigCloset, as well as being one of our authors. :)

- Erin

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Re: SRU: Tuck and the Wizard (Score: 1)
by MissyGirl2002 on Dec 04, 2002 - 11:44 AM
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A metting like that would be enough to give me the creeps. However, it was charming.

Barbara Lynn Terry

Re: SRU: Tuck and the Wizard (Score: 0)
by Guest Reader on Dec 14, 2002 - 12:57 PM
Definitely surreal.

Denise Em

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